I've found ways to go numb. There are just some things that I'd rather not endure. Sometimes I'm tired of being strong. I need a break from being the one who puts on the brave face when the going gets tough. I've been scared. Here recently, I've been terrified. Instead of holding my chin high as I've been known to do every time before, I expressed it (loudly, I'm afraid) and did my best to escape the pain of it, and I can't be blamed. It'll not become a habit. No, I do admit that I'm proud of my 'hard as nails' exterior. Even when everything aches away inside, I can still manage to brush it off as though it's on the topic of weather. But I do have a breaking point, just as everyone does. This happened to be something that I couldn't dismiss with the weather, and I didn't even try.
I've been called 'level-headed' by 2 very important people in the same week. I don't always feel that way. In fact, most days I'd love to hold my head under water to compare the pressure of it to the pressures of everyday life. I have a strange view on the world and how things work in it. Blame my anti-social mindset.
But what I've come to realize is, even with the hard knocks, things still pull themselves together. As impossible as the situation may seem, life does work out, if you let it.
"Fate controls who walks into your life, but you control who you let walk out, who you need back, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go"
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