It comes down to two options simply. Continue in a supposed state of security, subsequently miserable, or take the biggest chance of my life so far, and perhaps, be happy.
Why things aren't easy, I'll never know. I'd like to think that struggles make us stronger in some way. But it's more than that. I feel bound. Mostly by guilt, also by fear. I'd love to cast it all off, but I'm very aware of the consequences of that. I know the consequences of this choice. Still, there's a nagging in my heart warning me that if I pass this up, I'll one day regret it. Is it better to go out on a limb for your heart, risk it all at the chance of losing everything, or to hold onto security, live a drab life, wondering what that Summer would've been like. Wishing you could relive that choice. Sure, this is all I've ever known. Yes, I'm terrified of taking that first step. I'm terrified that I may have to come back with my tail between my legs. I argue with myself that there's nothing in this world more worth it than what I've chosen. There isn't, afterall.
"This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou cans't not be false to any man."
I believe it whole heartedly. Now to put it into practise.
- I realize how much I've missed. I'm ignorant to the things I should know so well, and for that, I hold resentment. It disheartens me,and makes this much harder than it should be. I'll not have my wings clipped any longer. They have long been beating against the walls of this cage, bruising me even more.
Time to fly.
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