rant.

I've come to realize that it's possible to love too much.

I'm preparing myself. What else can I do? I can't be caught off guard. Which is ironic, because I've never allowed my guard to be down for anyone before. I finally do, and well, I reflect on the consequences of that. Yet so easily, I let it back down again after all was said and done. This time, if there is a "this time", I'll be ready. And most likely, I won't let it back down again, if there is a "this time"..

I stood in the living room and argued with my father over the sincerity of the things I feel and of the promises I've been given. Telling him, "you don't understand. This is different.", is entirely undoable. He insists that I've been lied to and much more.

I wish I could prove it.

But I can't.

Then I think "maybe we'd be better off."

You make it very clear that you don't need me, when I eagerly admit that you're all I need.

If you don't need me, then what use am I to you anyway?

This only adds to how much I already hate my life.

The one thing that made it bearable, that made everyday something to look forward to, now has a dagger for a tongue, towards me, of all people.

I always find myself hated in these things.

There's something very wrong with me. Something unlovable.

It's been proved far too many times to deny it.